Heartsick

Bill lived next door to the same couple (husband and wife) for many, many years. He bought the house they were renting, they moved to Marysville. We haven't seen them for quite awhile. We were told that this weekend the husband committed suicide. Bill and I are heartsick. We haven't kept in touch. Not that it would have mattered, but who knows. . .My heart goes out to his kids. What are they going to do without their dad? And his wife? Granted, they had a very loud and somewhat abusive marriage. They never hit each other, but boy, the fights they used to have. But that was their relationship. And they loved each other. He was a big, strong, very handsome man. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, but was life really that hard? He had a great job, a roof over his head, a wife who loved him and kids and grandkids. The grandkids are at the age where you don't know if they will remember him or not. It leaves me feeling . . .I can't explain it. Confused. . .numb. . .anger. Tell your family that you love them. Don't let another day go by without doing that. Let them know.

Once a parent . . .

Just sitting here thinking about the kids moving out. I have absolutely loved it. I cannot tell you how good it feels to come home from work and Kenzie and Evan waiting for me with big smiles and big kisses. Christie in the kitchen fixing dinner. Jay rides home with me. I will miss that too. I will miss Kenzie's saying just about every night those words "I don't like this. . .I don't want to eat it." Then asking what 's for dessert. Dinner time has not always been an enjoyable time of the evening. But I will miss it. Bill and Jay egging each on with aggravating and sometimes gross banter back and forth, and Christie and I acting as though we are thoroughly disgusted. Jay and Bill making me gag with some of their explicit descriptions of anything and everything disgusting. It wasn't hard since I have a very low gag tolerance. I will miss the kisses good night. I will miss poppa playing troll with the kids and hearing all the laughs and screams that this play brings. Playing super heros is one of their favorites. Poppa is very good at this and the kids just love it and him. I will miss the excursions to Costco with my daughter where we go to buy just a few things and we end up with a carload full of groceries. So many things I will miss so I could go on and on. Once parents always parents. I now know what that means. They will only be a mere half hour away but it doesn't matter. Bill and I will enjoy the quiet. But when it gets too much for me, Kenzie and Evan can come and stay. At least overnight. Maybe longer.

I have Movement

Went to the chiropractor today. Feel so much better. After my treatment, dr. told me to keep my chin down. I told him this is not a good look for the aging woman. He agreed but told me to do it anyway. This is not a snap, crackle, pop type of chiropractor. He does something with the neck and swear that you have just been taken to the bank. But I swear to God whatever he does, it works. Erik Johnson in Bellevue. I recommend to anyone. He is the only one that could help my dad. So I will be returning to work on Monday. But now that I can move I can no longer breath. I have an awful cold which I have passed onto Bill. Nose is raw. Won't that look good in court.

My grandaughter Kenzie has been very loving this week. Knows that nanna is not feeling well but also seem to think that I am staying home just to be with her. And the things she says. . . like. . ." oh nanna, do those cracks in your face hurt?" Out of the mouths of babes.

Thanks for all the nice thoughts. Will blog more later.

Pain in the neck

I home. . . .for the rest of the week. Doctor's orders. All I can think about is how much work I will be returning to. The one good thing is I have drugs!! Muscle relaxers are just wonderful. Can't move very well but OMG, don't really want to.

I just want to know one thing. What in the hell do people do all day that don't work? I'm not talking about the mommies at home taking care of the little ones. I'm talking about the people who CAN work but don't want to. The ones on welfare. The ones that my tax dollars are paying for people to sit on their fats asses all day watching tv and calling orders into QVC and HSN. I would go absolutely crazy if there wasn't a place I had to be. Yes, there are days when going to work just isn't what I want to do. Even though I thoroughly enjoy my job and the people I work with. I love the sense of accomplishment. What have they done to achieve that sense of accomplishment? Hmm. . .let's see. . . must be that for another year they have scammed the government out of money. I call them losers. You know the ones. They are the ones that say they can't work due to back injury but can mow the lawn, put up a fence, water ski, paint the house, etc.

The muscle relaxers are kicking in. Time to call QVC and HSN and place an order.

I've Fallen and I Can't get up

Well. . .here I sit after a three day weekend. Can hardly move. Did something to my neck and now the pain is going down the arms and into my back. Call Group Health (commonly known as Group Death), am on hold with the consulting nurse for 25 minutes (can't make appointment until you talk him/her), finally get an appointment at 4:50. It would have been at 11:50 but she forgot to hit enter. OMG!! So I have to wait all day to see the doctor. My wonderful daughter is taking me. Of course our men are understanding this. . .what. . . .who's going to make dinner? So Christie is making home made mac and cheese. All they have to do is pop it in the oven. Oven. . .do they know what that is? Write on list of things to do. .. .show guys how to turn on oven, open door, put in food. This is somewhat of an exaggeration since pizza would be their dinner every night if it wasn't for the women folk. Bring on the Totino's!

And all I can think about is the pile of work I have on my desk that needs to be done. Transcripts for trials. Luckily Shanon, the felony paralegal is helping me while I am out of commission. I am supposed to be in court tomorrow all afternoon. This is just great!! Have you ever noticed that things like this happen when you are swamped. I think about retirement a lot. Like it's ever going to happen to me. Bill talks about us retiring and traveling. He may be able to retire but I'm not seeing mine for a long, long time. Have a nice time. Send me a postcard. Where is the lottery when I really need it. Of course, I guess it would help if I ever bothered to buy a ticket.

I've often thought of blogging but didn't think I had anything important to say. But after reading a lot of blogs I thought. . .they don't either. So here a I am. I thought of a lot of things to say before beginning this blog, but now I am sitting on the couch, Swiss Family Robinson on the tube and nothing is coming to mind. So let's start at the beginning. . .. well. . .not too far back. I live in Seattle with Bill who I have been with for ten years. No, we are not married. Thought about it but no. . . like it this way. I work full time as a paralegal with a public defense firm in downtown Seattle. Just got the promotion. My daughter Christie and hubbie and two kids moved here from Oregon in October and living with us. They are moving into their own place next month. I will miss them. Spoil the grandkids and send them to mom or dad. LOVE IT. So in this blog some of you may agree with some of the things I write about and some of you may get a little angry. Hopefully the latter won't happen too often. I look forward to writing. Spend less time on pogo.com and using the old brain. Hopefully some of you will respond. So. . .here goes. . . .